( Survivors Rule! 2004 )
This is the second part in a series about what my experience
with cancer has helped me find in my own life, and how it has given me an
opportunity to fight back. You can read part 1 and the beginning of the story
in Second Chances, Giving Back and How You Can Help.
In 2003 I took my first walk as a cancer survivor
participating in the Boston Prostate Cancer walk. As my wife and I researched
this and other events we noticed that
many likeminded people formed teams with catchy names. Most of the teams raised
money all year and participated in charity walks or runs in their local communities.
Lets do that! We started team “Survivors Rule!”. I was a newly minted cancer
survivor and to me this name had power, positivity and a no-nonsense appeal.
( Boston Prostate Cancer Walk 2003)
And we got right to work. Team Survivors Rule! finished 2003
with a homemade apple pie drive to benefit the Lance Armstrong Foundation.
Margot and I also participated in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer
events in both Boston, MA and Manchester, NH. We were off to a roaring start.
( Pies for Cancer 2003 )
At the Making Strides event in Manchester, NH I met the
volunteer chairperson (Nicole Spaur) for the 2004 Manchester Relay For Life. I
had heard of this event before, but never participated in one. During the long
week of recovery from my initial surgery my mother had mentioned this event
(thanks Mom!) and we talked about finding one to get involved in. With recovery
ahead of me still, we decided 2004 would be a good year to organize a team and
Relay for the first time. As I talked to Nicole about Relay I was energized.
She asked if I was interested in joining the committee. Blinded by my desire to
make my experience mean something more I said yes. I went home and proudly told
Margot that she was talking to the new chairperson of the Survivorship
Committee of the Manchester Relay For Life. Her initial reaction took the wind
of out my fight-back sails, but she was right; I had likely gotten ahead of
myself. As we headed into 2004 I tried my best to balance my time between work,
home, chairperson duties and getting our team organized for the Relay. In the
end it all came together, and despite all the hard work I felt good. As I said
in part 1, my cancer diagnosis changed my life. When I walked in that first
Relay For Life, my life changed again. I walked all night with my father,
Margot, friends and all the new people I met walking around in those circles. To
top that all off Survivors Rule! had raised just shy of $5000 in our first Relay.
This was just the beginning.
( Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, Boston. 2003. Rain & our walks seem to go hand in hand... )
Later in 2004 the team made apple pies again, and Margot and
I helped with day-of logistics and walked in the Making Strides event in Manchester.
After two years the team was able to proudly proclaim that we had helped raised
just over $8000 in the fight against cancer. We were building and growing,
getting stronger and arming ourselves. Cancer was in the bullseye.
In 2005 the team needed to make a change. Due to a family
wedding we needed to participate in a different Relay, and the change brought
us closer to home, to the Relay For Life of Great Derry & Londonderry. As
2005 wound up the team made chocolate treats to sell, and pounded the pavement
for donations. We rocked our new Relay all night raised over $7,000 more in the
fight against cancer. The team again came out for a pie drive in the fall and
the annual participation in Making Strides, which is still strong as it ever
was.
In the years of 2006 through 2009 the team put up remarkable
efforts and raised over $10,000 in each of 3 out of 4 of those years. Our
highest annual total was $12,500. Our success has always been bittersweet
because we were fighting a disease that was taking our family and friends, but
it is success and we enjoy it! My advocacy worked blossomed. I testified to the
finance committee of the NH legislature on the importance of supporting cancer
programs with tax dollars, helped with the event organization and marketing,
and participated in several other advocacy events as a speaker. The team never
made pies again after 2005, but continued to flirt with chocolate baskets,
parties (on the right) and other treats. Spa days at a local spa were arranged with proceeds benefitting
the Relay For Life. We also began using our homemade beverages to host socials
to share the fight with others and solicit their support. Our team continued to
grow and change. Unfortunately this was most often due to new cancer stories in
our circle, but I’m always happy to go to war with these people, knowing them
makes the effort worth it.
One of the other things I should just get out of the way is that I walk at Relay, and I walk a lot. My average mileage since 2004 is over 25 miles per event, and generally more if I help with day-of setup of both the greater event and for my own team.
( And I track it. 37.85 miles from 6PM Friday to 6PM Saturday. 2005 or 2006)
During the first few years after my treatment I learned a
lot about the emotional side to cancer's effects on people and families. So many
stories were shared with me. I was the “cancer guy” for friends, co-workers and
strangers. I had chosen to educate myself on what we were up against and use
that knowledge to fight back. It was hard to hear so many heart breaking
stories, especially early on. A large measure of mental toughness had to be
developed. That toughness came with heightened emotions all around, especially
to the particular issue of cancer. Most people don’t know that cancer kills
1500 American’s every day. No one other disease does that. How many families is
that? How many friends? How many jobs in our economy? How many voters,
volunteers and fundraisers is that? You’d get torn up over this like I do if
you thought about it too long.
( I met a lot of fellow cancer survivors who I became friends with. Thank you for being my friend Gerry!)
To many people knowing the “cancer guy” was just the
relationship they needed to have because they were dealing with cancer in their
own circle. The most powerful thing I learned was that it isn’t understanding
that we should seek, although between survivors and caregivers there is plenty
of potential for that, it is celebrating the shared moment. It’s me being able
to tell you my story in my own words. As the American Cancer Society so beautifully
puts it, it’s about more birthdays. It’s about being seen and seeing others
again. It’s about living with dignity and hope. I can’t necessarily understand what someone
else has been through, but anyone can understand the need to cherish what you
have. Like any medical condition, cancer is nasty physically, emotionally and can
take a huge toll on everyone involved. Fighting back in the way we do ensures
people affected by cancer are given hope and the chance to live with dignity. With
our collective support more people are living longer and suffering less. I cherish my second chance and through my
advocacy work with the American Cancer Society I have now become a shepherd for
others who want to fight back.
In 2010 and 2011 the team again posted incredible
fundraising numbers with an inception to date fundraising total of just over
$87,000 in just 8 years! I can see $100,000 from here.
Wine tastings have become our flagship fundraising event and
we are honored to have family and friends who volunteer top open their homes to
host these events. Sharing my homemade wines, wine travel stories and wine
enjoyment tips for an afternoon is a very enjoyable backdrop for some advocacy
and fundraising work. And our guests love the tastings!
We two tastings planned this spring and one of them will be
splitting its donations between two different Relay For Life events! The work
of team Survivors Rule! has been infectious and led to family and friends
participating in and working as organizers of Relay events in their own
communities. That is making a difference! If you are interested in either event
send email to jasonphelps (at) yahoo (dot) com for more information. I will be
posting about fighting cancer with wine this year’s events in May after I have
pictures to share from each.
( AM at Relay in 2008. Weary, cold and tired, but still fighting back! )
In the last couple of year’s team members have used a
variety of methods to reach out into the circle of influence and solicit
support. Personal stories are the best way to share the reality of the fight
with others. The programs and services of the American Cancer Society are an
excellent way to make a personal story stick, we tell people where their money
goes. Look for details on the mission of the American Cancer Society and how
Relay is part of that mission in an upcoming post. Our goal now is to continue to grow our
success and reach for that $100,000 mark. Funds of that size are comparable to
the size of recent grants given to researchers at Dartmouth and other
facilities in NH. Think about that, you can then understand the magnitude of
how that money, your money, in the right hands could lead to big steps in this
fight. We are all making a difference and we know it
I’ve personally taken to challenging donors with a matching
donation. It’s no surprise that I put my money where my mouth is (actually, it
is a surprise to some people) and donate several thousand dollars to Relay and
Strides annually. Early in the fundraising year, which is right now, I offer to
match all or a portion of donations in an attempt to further raise awareness
and multiply the impact of people’s dollars.
Here’s the new challenge. I will match half of every $50
donation made between today (4/6/2012) and one week from now. The link to
donate is below. You must leave a comment here letting me know you have taken
my challenge and made your donation. That ensures I count it and allows me to recognize
and thank everyone for sharing in my story and standing with me to fight back.
A donation of $50 might be large for some, but there is a trick, ask your
family and friends to pool donations. Get everyone involved. Maybe you get
enough for two $50 donations which means I have to match it with $50! Your
support will ensure programs and services are there for people who need them.
You will be offering hope and dignity to others in a time of need. You will be
someone’s hero.
Here is the link to make the donation online. Will you be
someone’s hero today? The site is secure and run by the American Cancer Society
who will issue each donor a receipt. Don’t forget the matching challenge and
coming back here to tell me to open up my wallet and match your move!
Cheers!
Jason
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